One little incident, and the many consequences it incurred, and the many things I've came to realise because of it. The best of which are friends of whom I feel extremely grateful for. Without them, I wouldn't have managed to get through this whole ordeal. Thanks guys (: for being there for me. 

I can't stop thinking about it. Even being in the room brings back memories of that terrifying moment. I feel claustrophobic everywhere. Even looking at the phone reminds me of my disgusting self. Though there is no point dwelling on it, everything's settled. But I found myself thinking about the other issues that surfaced because of this. As usual, I'm complicating things. Making solutions more intangible, because there's more than one problem to begin with. And not surprisingly, I found myself wanting to leave everything behind again. But what's the point? It's not as if I will actually do that in spirit. I long for blue skies, and open space. Anything than feeling trapped here. But what good will that do if I can't untangle the knots I made myself? Nobody else can, either. 

Then again, it's useless to wallow in self-pity, thinking how much my life sucks because I am such a failure. Move on, move on, move on. 

So anyway, I am revamping my room currently. It sure feels good to do some hands on work just now, instead of sitting on my fat bottom studying little words stringed together. Useless information! Now we've got a four glorious months to get the head a little emptier than usual... (I believe that in the exam period, even little airheads like myself have managed to fill the brain up a little...) SO. The room. Okay, other than the manual labour, the work's quite a headache really. Getting measurements (Again), finding suitable furniture (Again).... Hey didn't I do this just last year? Yep I did. But the arrangement was admittedly not that fantastic; cos of the additional piano, the claustrophobic factor shot up exponentially and my room looked a wooden jungle. Not with books though, that wouldn't be so bad, but with shelves. Bigggg shelves. Broad shelves. Tall shelves. Hagrid shelves. So... the hunt for appropriate shelves is on! Plus, my desk is gone, and I'm trying to replace it with one that's more... flexible. Something that is mobile, and maybe without a chair. So it will be kind of short, with wheels preferably. Something like those little tables, Japanese style? I don't see anything in the ikea catalogue, and my mom offered to try and make one. *gulps* 

And anyway, hopefully the new revamped room will be close to perfect! I've given up staring longingly at the ikea showrooms cos well, there's a reason they are there... for show. With realities like windows, and other furniture, and measurements, and pockets lacking cash... Oh well sometimes we just have to piece what's available and hope it turns out nice (: