For no reason, my feet feels cold now. And my heart is thumping, while my shoulders groan under the strain of... stress? I feel like there are 2349234 things to do, but I just can't get myself to start. For one, get ready for friday's lesson. I feel so sluggish recently, like it takes an immense amount of effort to pry open the lid of the piano, much less succumb myself to the rigorous training that I pride myself on achieving just a few weeks ago. I thought I have finally overcame a mighty hurdle, only to find myself back at square one. Lazy ass. 

I was really disturbed by what my student told me today. She was telling me that she might have to miss next week's lesson cos she has remedial lessons all the way till 8. So technically, she has school from 7 all the way to 8. With 4.30-6pm as dinner break. And such schedule applies to every day of the week. AND this is on top of normal school curriculum and private tuition which means that her piano lesson is probably the most exciting thing she has in the entire week. I think this is insane! I mean, psle and all but having remedial lessons till night is simply immoral! It's disgusting; that blatant kiasuness that schools display nowadays. And parents too. Excelling is sort of imbued in her, not cos of personal achievement but because of her father's expectations. And because of such demented attitude on her father's part, my students' parents are divorced. She looks really weary almost every week, unsurprisingly, and her eyebags almost trumps mine (for different reasons). Oh, and her friend apparently cuts herself, and yes she is 12 too. My god. When I was 12 I was a carefree neopets loving kid who hung out the jurong east library not to read but to play with her shoyru and tap on the free internet services. Sigh, that friend is stressed up over school, and how she is ugly and so cannot find a "stead". Gee that is a term I haven't heard since like 5, 6 years ago. Looking back, I really wonder how I could have found any guy below 16 vaguely attractive. 

And so, I did something that I never thought I would do, that is give her msn email address and hope that I can at least be her source of comfort in such dark times (indeed). I have always been the little girl, the confused one begging for directions but really, it's time to grow up.